TEACH ME HOW TO COUNT
by dandelion-heart
Summary: In your own way, you were trying to comfort me...weren't you?


TEACH ME HOW TO COUNT.

* * *

Teach me. I want to learn. So I can remember. Your face. And that small lie.

* * *

Hey, um. I actually wanted to tell you guys something.

Hmm?

I had a dream-

Sora, don't push.

I didn't mean to!

Hey guys-

'Sup Kairi?

Sora, let her talk.

She was about to! Get off-

Riku don't!

I wasn't gonna hit him.

Of course you weren't. Because I would have-

Have what, little one?

You guys, stop! What's the matter?

Sorry Kairi. We just got into an argument yesterday.

About what?

…Nothing.

More like about who.

Huh?

Oh be quiet Riku.

I actually am.

You guys aren't even really angry with each other. Just stop pretending.

It's more fun this way!

Sora, I swear…

* * *

Um so, have you guys ever had a nightmare?

Not really.

Yeah I have.

Sora's are just about the food eating him for once.

Riku!

You guys, relax.

It's him, not me.

So I guess you haven't then.

I'm sure we have, both of us, but we never bothered counting.

Counting?

Yeah. Numbers and dreams don't mix.

They could.

How?

Well the dreams when you're awake.

Like what Riku?

I dunno really. For me, it's just- well it's kind of like a rule. For me at least.

Oh I know this rule.

You do?

Yeah, Riku told me a while ago. Randomly too.

It was a random rule.

Kind of cool though. He said, "Numbers make sense when the world doesn't."

Numbers?

I was thinking about counting. You know like 1, 2, 3-

Riku, I got one!

How did you beat me?

Guess I had the bigger bait!

Watch, I'll get a bigger fish than that!

You guys…

* * *

I don't know how to count.

What?! Are you serious Kairi?

Sora, you hardly knew how to either until what, a year ago?

Shut up, not true. Don't believe him Kairi.

If there's anyone she should believe, it's me. Now, are you gonna keep babbling at her or are you gonna let me teach her?

Who said you were gonna teach?

Ask Kairi.

Well? Who's gonna teach you?

Um, both of you could I'm sure…

I'm not working with him.

Sora, you're being impossible.

It's ok though, I mean, I know how to count, just-

Wait, you do know how?

Sora, shut up! Go on Kairi.

Sorry Kairi.

It's ok Sora, really. I just meant that, I know like 1, 2, 3, but I mean…why do we count? Why's it in that order? Know what I mean? Guys?

Yeah, she's all yours Riku. Just this once though!

Oh, I'll be sure to remember that.

* * *

Okay look down and tell me what you see.

I see me. It's just my reflection.

And that's one.

One?

You start with yourself. Always. That's how it goes. Because without one, being you, you can't even think about 2 or 3 or 4.

Oh. Oh, I see!

Good. Now-

What about zero?

Zero? It's nothing.

So why do we bother with it?

Uhh well-

We can get back to that one later.

You ask the funniest questions Kairi. Don't take any offense but you just- well it does kinda fit anyways.

Fit what?

You. You coming out of some greater world into ours. Of course you'd think differently. It's not bad though.

I think this world is better.

You don't remember your world.

I know this one is better.

Really? Well, that's probably because of me and Sora.

It probably is.

* * *

Now look into my eyes. What do you see?

Me again.

Right. But how many pairs of eyes do you see?

…Two.

And that's two.

Why?

After all of this, you gotta explain why you're asking for in-depth stuff about numbers.

I will, don't worry.

Two because the second thing you care about after you is the person you're next to.

What if there are three people there?

You still only care about one.

Why?

I dunno. That's just the way it works.

* * *

Three is the world.

Really? The world comes right after?

Yup.

Wouldn't it come much later though? It's the world, kinda important. Why are you laughing?

Nothing. Well because in order to know where the second person is, you need to know the world.

That's kinda odd.

Were you expecting a Sora explanation? One is you, two is me, three is all of us?

Except for the last one, you kinda said the same thing.

No, not really. One is you sure, but two is the person you want next to you, and three is where you want them.

And that's Earth?

I would hope so. Unless you want them-

Dead?

Kairi, don't look at me like that! I didn't really mean it that way-

Riku, you're horrible.

* * *

And four is?

Four is the time you want to be with number two.

Time?

I know, it kinda feels like when I said world right? Too important for the number four.

Yeah.

Think about it though. When you're alone, you're waiting until someone comes. Then when someone comes, you'll be waiting for them to finally go. And then it repeats.

Why would you want them to go?

You wouldn't want them to leave. But you know they're going to. So you'll happily talk and laugh with them for whenever, and then end up realizing you knew they were gonna leave all along. You were just waiting for it to happen.

I guess so…that's kind of sad though.

Hmm?

It's just, it makes me…never mind!

* * *

Five!

Fingers on your hand.

…That's it?

Expecting something even bigger? Like, the universe?

Not that big. But yeah, fingers? Why?

Because…look at your hand. It's what you use to hold on to someone right?

You're right. Like when you see them-

A high five.

And when you try to stop them from leaving-

Or when you're trying to pull them back so you can kill them properly.

Riku, you shouldn't. Anyways, Sora always manages to get away.

Because of you. He needs to just fight with me, once.

You'd beat him Riku.

We don't know that. I just really wanna know though, why he doesn't want to fight me. It's not like it's serious. I just want to see who's stronger.

* * *

Six…

Is the number of senses you have.

Huh? Touch, sight, smell, sound, taste. That's five.

There's a sixth Kairi.

Oh can I guess?

Go ahead.

Hmm, well see, here time would make sense.

Nah, not really. Think again.

Um then…I dunno.

Give up?

Fine, tell.

It's memory.

How?

Well because if you're normal and healthy, you can always feel things and taste and smell stuff and hear and see it. Memory is the same. It's special though 'cause even if you're abnormal, you're always thinking, because that way you keep track of time and the world and remember that number two.

Wow, that's deep.

You make it sound like I usually babble, sound like Sora.

Never! But that's the funny thing. I mean, if Sora suddenly said that, I would just laugh, but you saying it makes me-

Appreciate me more?

Exactly.

Really?

Why would I lie?

* * *

Seven is?

Hmm now I have to think…

Where are we stopping by the way?

You'll know when. You'll ask me to stop I bet.

Really? How do you know that?

Got it. Seven is number of days in the week.

Kind of like time right?

Sorta. But see, time is seconds and hours and days and weeks. You don't think of it that way when you're thinking about someone though. The only thing you do think about is when the sun sets and rises and you could care less about the days but you will count the weeks.

I see.

This is tiring work.

Making you think too hard?

No, it's making me hungry.

Hold on, let's at least do up to ten.

Ten?!

* * *

Eight?

Number of legs a spider has.

Spider?

Mhm. Spiders spin webs.

So?

So? Aren't they kind of like storytellers then? Sure they don't mean anything to us, but they grab their dinners and make homes for other spiders and you find them everywhere. It's kind of like a story.

But they're like the stories we don't care about.

Yeah. But they're the only ones we can see.

* * *

Nine! Almost there Riku!

I need food.

You're being dramatic- never seen this side of you. It's kind of cute.

Cute? More like pathetic. I thought I had more willpower than this.

Nine?

Oh ok, nine planets.

With only one that counts.

When number two is alive. Or even just with you. When they're gone, then you start wondering where they went and you'll look to the sky and you won't know it, but you can't see you're staring right at some planet far away.

Got it. No more questions from me.

Thanks.

* * *

Last one Riku.

Thank God.

And what is it?

Ten to whatever last number in the world there is, they're all the same.

They are?

Yup.

What are they then?

The things you like about number two.

…Things?

Ten might be the jokes. Twenty might be the hair. Sixty-four might be the smile. Whatever you like. That's how come people don't teach kids past ten for some time. Because it's up to them to make what they want to attach to those double digits.

Double, for you and the other person?

Sure, that works too.

I get it. Wow, that's cool.

Yeah and now I gotta go eat something.

Wait- wait Riku! Wait, stop running! You aren't gonna even ask?

Ask what?

Why- why I wanted you to-

I don't really care. It was fun to do. You don't have to give me a reason why.

I don't?

Well, do you?

…I suppose- no. I don't, really, after all.

Well come on then! I would carry you on my back but I think Sora's getting impatient with how much time I've stolen you away for.

Ah don't worry! I'll run with you then.

* * *

_I had a bad dream last night._

_I dreamed I was gone and you guys weren't with me and being there all alone made me so scared that I cried, and I was afraid someone would hear me._

_I wanted to have said goodbye properly, and I really wanted to have let you guys know I loved you._

_Or just love. Because I still do._

_I don't know why I was afraid. I didn't even understand why I didn't think, "Oh it's just a dream." _

_I'm sorry I couldn't tell you anyways. I didn't want either of you to worry or to think I was somehow going to leave and so I tried to count the reasons I shouldn't worry, why I was going to stay. It's funny how my instinct was right and now I'm falling asleep again because I'm so alone that it feels like I never woke up. _

**Numbers make sense when the world doesn't.**

_When you said that I thought to myself that there was no way I could ever leave you both. But there was a voice that assured me I was going to go._

_Teach me how to count._

_That's what the voice said._

_Count what? I asked._

_But it didn't reply and so I asked you and you replied. _

_With all those numbers and symbols, I can remember every moment with you both. I can remember every time we were together and so even if I cry now, I won't care if anything hears me since I have you both locked away somewhere safe._

_But I forgot to ask again. What about zero?_

_If one is me, two is you, three is the world, four is time, and everything after is all about the number two, what happened to the lonely zero?_

_0?_

_Maybe you didn't answer because you knew there was something wrong. You did, didn't you Riku? That's why you were so uneasy around Sora, why you made up those difficult answers, why you weren't upset with me for asking such a strange question._

_You kept me there, and you showed me all the reasons I was going to stay and you counted them with me, and now I'm gone and here instead, and I'm wondering why it didn't work._

_Maybe because we forgot, we forgot about lonely zero. Maybe that's the reason._

_From 1 to 100 and then infinity, you gave me reasons why I was there, why I know I will come back and I will see you and Sora again._

_Maybe it's a good thing you never told me what zero was._

_Because that might after all be the reason I know I will return._


End file.
